Jesus walked into the middle of a family row when
he visited his friends Martha & Mary (Luke 10:38-42).
I’m sure we’ve all had
that kind of experience some time or another, to be a guest in front of whom
the hosts quarrel. How embarrassing!
As Jesus was talking –
we’re not told to whom, but perhaps including Lazarus their brother, whom Jesus
raised from the dead – Mary sat at his feet as was the custom then, listening
to Jesus speak. Martha, meanwhile, was making herself busy, tidying and
preparing refreshments – a banquet perhaps, for their special guest. I imagine
that Martha must have been fuming inside for quite a while - perhaps long
before Jesus’s arrival - feeling that Mary was not pulling her weight about the
house. Now here was Martha, dashing around like a mad thing, while her sister Mary
just sat and listened with rapt attention to Jesus’s every word.
Finally Martha’s
self-control snapped. She rushed in to Jesus and asked him, ‘Lord, do you
not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then
to help me.’ She deliberately involved Jesus, their guest, in their
family row. She didn’t have to. She could have come in and had a quiet, private
word with Mary to ask for help, but in her anger she tried to show her sister
up in front of Jesus. How embarrassing it must have been for Jesus.
Jesus answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many
things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which
will not be taken away from her.’
It was a very mild
rebuke. Jesus recognised that it was Martha’s worry and distraction that was
the cause of her rudeness. But it was not for him to take Martha’s side in her
row with Mary. He surely realised that what Mary needed at that moment was to listen
to his words - her ‘better part, which will not be taken away
from her’. And perhaps that is what Martha needed too.
‘There is need of
only one thing’, Jesus tells Martha. I wonder what Jesus meant
by this.
Was it that he didn’t
want a big fuss made of him? No big dinner, but just a single, simple dish would
be quite enough. Well, possibly – but surely there’s more to it than that.
Many Christians,
particularly from contemplative or monastic traditions, have interpreted the
one thing needed as to listen to Jesus’s words, as Mary chose to do. Does this
suggest that those who work hard at practical tasks of service like Martha have
chosen a lesser part? I don’t think this is what Jesus meant at all. Service to
others was very important to Jesus - we need only remember the example of
service Jesus gave to his disciples by washing their feet in John’s version of
the Last Supper.
The truth is, surely,
that God has not made everyone alike – some are dynamos of activity who can
spend their lives in service to God and other people, while others are
naturally quiet and more suited to a contemplative life. God needs his Marys
and his Marthas too. And most of
us alternate between these two poles at different times – when service becomes
too stressful we need to take time out, to re-create ourselves, to listen to
Jesus, so that we may return refreshed to serve.
I think the one thing
needed must be something else. I wonder if it could be this - that Martha and
Mary should love one another, whatever their petty differences, just as Jesus
loved them both – as in the ‘new commandment’ which Jesus gave to his
disciples, again in John’s version of the Last Supper.
I have a Martha at home – that is my wife
Marty’s given name!
I think she must be
close to sainthood to put up with me. She spends so much more time than me cooking
and washing up, while I lock myself away in my office struggling to understand
Jesus’s words in order to preach about them. I don’t think I am very good at
noticing when this starts to irritate her, and I fear I often fail to recognise
her needs for time out.
Martha’s problem, I
believe, was not too much service, but that she became ‘worried
and distracted by many things’, to use Jesus’s words. I think
this is often a problem for people who give their lives in service. They may
feel unable to admit to themselves when they need to take a break, and those
around them may fail to notice their rising stress-levels. When the stress
becomes too much, something snaps and they can break down in anger, or depression,
or physical illness.
Clergy are not immune
from this – you only have to look around our united dioceses to see it. At
their ordination clergy vow to live a life of service ministering to God’s
people. As parishes have got bigger and numbers fewer their job has become ever
more challenging and demanding. And all too many suffer the consequences of
stress.
We should pray for our
clergy, that the Holy Spirit may give them the strength, not only to minister,
but to know when to take a break or ask for help when they need it. We should
cut them some slack when they do take a break. We should cultivate in ourselves
the sensitivity Jesus showed to Martha and Mary. And we should love those
called to minister to us – and show them our love - as Jesus loves us and shows
us his love.
Let me finish with a prayer/poem for all of us
who are Marthas
Lord of all pots
and pans and things, since I've no time to be
A saint by doing
lovely things or watching late with thee,
Or dreaming in the
twilight or storming heaven's gates.
Make me a saint by
getting meals or washing up the plates.
Although I must
have Martha's hands, I too have Mary's mind.
And when I black
the boots and shoes, thy sandals, Lord, I find.
I think of how they
trod the earth when e’er I scrub the floor.
Accept this
meditation, Lord, I haven't time for more.
Warm all the
kitchen with thy love, and light it with thy peace,
Forgive me all my
worrying and make all grumbling cease.
Thou who didst love
to give us food in room or by the sea
Accept this service
that I do - I do it unto thee.
